A note to readers: This article contains discussion of addiction. If you might be triggered by that, please enjoy one of my other blog posts instead.
At the core of my wellness coaching for makers is a concept I call the “five threads of wellness.” I’d like to share the concept in depth, along with an example from my own life.
What are the five threads of wellness?
As a fiber artist, I like to think of our lives as a beautiful work of art – a tapestry woven of many threads. Included in those threads are five that relate to wellness: physical, mental, social, creative and spiritual.
When you weave something together, your creation counts on all of the threads to be strong. When one thread is weak, it puts pressure on the other threads. When one thread breaks, it makes the whole creation weaker. The more weak threads we have, the more our strong threads have to work to hold us together.
In order to be well, we need to ensure that all five threads of wellness are in good shape.
Using this metaphor with clients (and myself) helps anchor an understanding that wellness isn’t just one thing – it’s many concepts woven together.
What happens when one of our threads is weak?
It’s normal for us to have weak areas in our wellness practice. Anyone who claims they’ve always got it all together is full of it! Don’t beat yourself up if you are aware that you’re weak in one or more areas.
Here are some examples of how unbalanced threads of wellness can impact us:
A yoga teacher who’s mastered her practice but is so rigid in her ways that she’s not able to think creatively when a student needs a modified position or other accommodation.
An avid quilter whose work is widely renowned but who works so hard every day she’s forgotten how to nurture friendships and other close relationships, and feels isolated.
A sober Buddhist pursuing the path of recovery who feels solid in her relationships, work and creativity… but who pops into the grocery store after every meeting for a handful of cookies. (This last one was me! Ugh, a bit embarrassing but it’s the truth.)
Can you see how people who look like they’ve got it together on the outside can also be weak in one or more areas of wellness practice? (Keep that in mind the next time you’re feeling comparisonitis while scrolling Instagram or reading about a celebrity’s glamorous life. No one is perfect.)
Recently, some of my threads were getting weak
I’ve been a Buddhist for about 13 years. I’ve also been sober for almost five years, and my recovery program uses a Buddhist approach. (It was a relief to discover a program that aligns with my values and spiritual path!)
Getting sober has helped me improve my physical wellness a great deal. In fact, in the past year I’ve taken up running again, something I hadn’t done for 25 years! It’s been incredible.
But for months, I pursued my physical wellness passionately while at the same time eating a bunch of junk that was terrible for me. Each week, I would go to my recovery meeting and talk about how I’m able to work with cravings for alcohol, finding other things to fill that need. It was true, and it was working.
But I was also leaving that meeting and stopping by the neighborhood Whole Foods to raid their cookie bar. I would sit in my car and eat my cookies and then head home. It was the same as it had been with alcohol: I was soothing hard feelings with a substance – and hiding it from loved ones. This substitution of addictions is common among those of us in recovery.
This disconnect between my values and my actions was harmful. My physical thread of wellness was weakened by daily overeating of food that didn’t agree with my system. And my mental thread of wellness was weakened by the knowledge that I wasn’t being truthful or honoring my commitment to improving my physical health.
*A quick side note here: I’m not here to tell you how to eat, or to say any foods are “bad.” Diet culture sucks. But for me, cookies and other pastries are not a healthy choice – they’re fine in moderation, but not daily consumption. Just want to be clear!
I keep five balls of yarn on my desk and practice braiding them…which helps remind me how all five threads of wellness are woven together.
How I strengthened those threads
Once I admitted I had a problem, I began to strengthen my threads:
I had deep conversations with another sober friend, and with my husband, Joe. That honesty yielded compassionate and helpful responses.
I got rid of snacks in the house that weren’t in alignment with my goals, to reduce temptation.
I committed to an accountability partnership with my friend for a month in which I promised to share when I was tempted, or when I slipped up.
I joined a healthy eating challenge with my sister-in-law, which yielded tons of support and recipes. (Plus it’s strengthened my relationship with her.)
I began to notice when I was craving unhealthy snacks and examined the causes, like hunger, fatigue, loneliness or relationship challenges.
I practiced finding other ways to feed myself when I faced those challenges, with nutritious foods but also with other things like music, connection, creativity, prayer, etc.
Over time, I felt all five threads of wellness begin to feel stronger. Now that I’m eating much less gluten and sugar, I feel so much better physically.
We need all five threads of wellness
Can you see how a person can be relatively healthy, but still have a weak thread here and there that causes bigger problems? It wasn’t just that my physical wellness was being compromised. My mental wellness was also challenged by the dissonance, and my spiritual wellness was weakened by dishonesty with my recovery community.
I’m not here to beat myself up. Instead, I want to show you it’s possible to recognize when you need to strengthen one or more of your threads. And it’s also possible to put in the work to make meaningful change – which might include enlisting the help of others.
How are your threads?
How about you, how are your five threads of wellness doing? Can you spot any weak threads, and if so, what step will you take to begin to strengthen it? Join us in the comments to share what you’ve learned and what you’re trying. Your sharing could help others, too. Thanks!
